例:
(2007年山东枣庄)以“Chinese Spring Festival”为题,写一篇短文。
■ 考生作文
Chinese Spring Festival
The Spring Festival is China’s importantest① festival. It’s the longest holidays②. Most people go back home to get together with their families③.
Before the festival,people are busy prepare④ for it- buying things and cleaning the houses.On the night⑤,the whole family usually celebrate it,for example,they always playing firecrackers,eating delicious foods, watching TV and playing mah-jong and so on.During the festival, they visit friends and relatives, saying “Happy New Year” to each other,and go to park or temple fairs together .People also put on new clothes,and they say “Happy New Year” to each other,visit friends and relatives and go to park or temple fairs⑥. On New Year’s Day , people often eat delicious food jiaozi. Jiaozi can be made by most people including the old and the kids。
I like jiaozi very much.What about you?
■ 综合点评
这份作文能抓住要点,介绍出春节以及表达出个人感受,但在行文过程中出现了一些语法和语言表达等方面的错误,这些也是同学们经常犯的错误。
①处是典型的中式英语,另外还有一处典型的语法错误,“important”最高级应为:“the most important”。所以,这句话正确说法应该是:“The Spring Festival is the most important festival in China.”
②处句子不符合逻辑,只能说春节是长假之一。因为在中国还有“五一”和“十一”两个长假。正确句子应该为“It’s one of the longest holidays.”
③缺少连接词,应在句子前加上“During the festival”。
④语法错误,“be busy doing sth.”是一个固定的句型结构。正确句子应该是“people are busy preparing for it.”
⑤此处“night”指代不明。应为除夕夜:Spring Festival Eve。
⑥此处语序混乱。应该是“人们拜访亲友、相互祝福,一起去逛公园、庙会:they visit friends and relatives, saying‘Happy New Year’ to each other,and go to park or temple fairs together.”同时为了表述更准确,还应在整个句子的句首加上时间:“During the festival”。
选用词语就是要准确表达思想。我们选用词语的原则是:既知道确切含义、用法,又要用有把握的词语。很多考生选用词语的错误常表现在:拼写错误、用词不当、词义(类)混淆、遗词漏词等方面。其中用词不当是最主要的问题。例如:
The price of the dictionary is very cheap.
(价格仅能用high or low来衡量,应改clean为low,物品常用 cheap or expensive来说明)
We joined the sports meeting yesterday.
(join指加入组织、团体,应改为took part in)